40 weeks plus 2 days! I have outgrown Matt’s t-shirts. His shirts do not fit over my belly anymore either. My mom told me we could meet in Mt. Vernon and I could borrow my dad’s shirts. He’s a XXL. No thank you. Matt and I are trying everything and anything to induce this labor. I have been bouncing on a yoga ball, drinking red raspberry leaf tea, walking for hours, eating spicy foods. Nothing seems to be working. 5 more days until I meet Luke, hopefully.

I have been having nightmares about labor and delivery the past couple of days. As most of you know I am so terrified of having a C-section. I keep dreaming I am in labor after being induced for 25+ hours and then they tell me I need a C-section. I wake up sweating and crying, afraid that is what is going to happen. I trust my doctor completely and that is why she is having me wait until 41 weeks so it reduces the percentage of me having to have a C-section.

So the plan as of Tuesday is for me to come into the hospital on August 8 and 7pm to have a “cervical implant” (not sure that is the correct terminology) to help dilate me. I will sleep at the hospital with that until morning. They will remove the “implant” wait 30 minutes and begin the Pitocin drip. I am sad and have anxiety just thinking about the process. I am going to be plugged into IV’s the entire labor and delivery process. I HATE THIS!!! I do have 5 days for something to happen and Luke to drop and I am praying for my body to go into labor on its own.

Honestly, Matt wants to talk about parenting and how we are going to raise him. All I want to do is shut down and I tell him, “I am trying to survive the remainder of this pregnancy.” The last two doctor’s appointments have been disappointing. Here’s the sad part. I have a healthy baby growing inside me and all I can think about is me. I am being so selfish about this last part of pregnancy. I know I cannot be the only woman that thinks this way.

We had the ultra sound on Tuesday and Luke was weighed and measured. At 40 weeks he weighed 8 lbs 5 oz and I cannot remember what they said on his length. Honestly, the weight of the baby was overwhelming because having to wait another week means a bigger baby.

The women I have talking to about this all say they struggled with some of the same issues. They also happily admit that once they put your baby in your arms you will feel so much love it hurts and it is the best sacrifice they ever made. Phew! That does give me confidence and some relief.

Please pray that my body will labor on its own and I will not have to be induced.

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