I apologize for my lack of writing these past few days. I have been struggling with some depression like symptoms and needed a break to be me and be with family. I have been having cramping and Braxton Hick contractions everyday lately for 20-25 minutes/day. The doctor told me if I start having them again I need to go to labor and delivery and get checked out to make sure I am not going into labor. I have taken the past four days off from working out and only been walking. However, even walking is causing me to go into contractions. Luke is still moving a lot which is what I have been worried about the most.

I reached out to some lady friends who helped me with my depression like symptoms by giving me some Young Living Essential Oils such as Lemon Oil to put into my water. I guess it is supposed to help. I am not sure if it is or not. I mean, I am still showing up to work and getting stuff done, so I am still functioning.

My dad and I met in Mt. Vernon last night to have dinner and it is so nice to have a dad that is always willing to drive to see me. I don’t get many of those times anymore. It was just dad and me. We went to a terrible little Chinese restaurant that we will never eat at again, but we had a great conversation that was much needed. We talked about the struggles of being a man while a woman is pregnant and the struggles of a woman being pregnant. I am beyond excited to meet my little man! I have had the privilege of being selfish the past 30 years and now my body is going to someone else. I cannot wrap my mind around the beauty of it.

The other struggle I am dealing with is my job. My boss forgot to put in a budget for summer workers and now I am responsible for working the entire summer by myself in the fitness center. I don’t know what to do. My mind is struggling so much with how much isolation I feel at my position since I am the only person in the facility and everybody else in athletics has summers off. I have to find a positive solution to my grief and unhappiness. I am a bummer of a personality and my past blogs have been sad and depressing. I will try to turn it around. I am hoping to walk today. Working out/CrossFit is out of the question until I can get my contractions and cramping under control. Working out is what keeps me sane and right now I feel like I am going to lose my mind.

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